Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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