okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
