writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
