do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
