It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
