You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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