My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
