i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
