my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
your like the ambassador to my penis.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
