I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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