I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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