i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I will be naked everywhere
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
