I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
