Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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