you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
