whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You're like the curious george of whores
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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