the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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