I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
