Do you still have your period?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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