Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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