Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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