Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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