Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
