And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
