I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
