Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
