I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
