do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
