Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
