You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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