3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
