Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
