My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
