No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
