Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
