filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
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