Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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