Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
