I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
