As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
