I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
