There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
