Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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