ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
hell yes lets make some ravioli
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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