he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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