If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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