Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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