WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
