Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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