Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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