his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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